Understanding The Difference Between A Trans Fetishist And A Potential Partner

We often hear the term “Trans Fetishist” thrown around- and recklessly.

As Trans folks, we live in a society wherein we are often hyper-sexualized by the mainstream. It’ unfortunate, but true that we haven’t yet crossed that evasive threshold of our gender being separated from our sexuality. Our sexuality as Trans individuals is frequently- and ignorantly- made the focus of our complete identity. That we have a sexuality at all or can be attractive, even desired, by another remains shrouded in taboo. Consequentially, many who might otherwise have no problem taking a Trans man or woman as a partner are forced to live out their attraction via secret fantasies in the glow of their computer screens after the rest of their family has gone to bed. To many of these people, their attraction is their shame. Or, alternatively, is perceived as altogether unattainable due to the stigma.

There is a distinct difference between a fetishist and a genuine potential romantic interest, and discerning that can save you a lot of stress and inevitable heartache. The trouble lies in the fact that, while the two are not at all related, the behaviors can appear to be, at least on the surface. Like many in my Trans family, I’ve had my fair share of experiences with both before I learned to identify who truly…