My Friend De-Transitioned- Here’s Why

I’ve only ever known her as Carole, she loves music and theater and knits all of her friends socks during the winter. Now she is Edgar.

I’ve only ever known of the concepts of de-transition through the les of those who weaponize it to hurt other transgender people. The ones that the radicals in the far right of feminism hold up like a token of triumph believing they’ve proven something to the world.

Carole began her social transition in 1980 in Hoboken, New Jersey. Her path was one familiar to most transgender women. She always knew that her gender was unquestionable a woman. In order to sidestep the rigid rules of masculine dress and behavior that was expected of men, she took up drag and visited New York City bars every weekend where she would perform and dress in “women’s” clothing without fear of repercussion or cruelty. Although she identified at the time as gay- there was no word to reference gender variance-It provided her a sense of community and in that she found her niche in the world, which would change drastically over the coming decades as the pursuit of gay rights hit a fever pitch, AIDS robbed her of her lover of 9 years, and the evolution of language allowed her to accurately identify herself outside the bar scene- not as a transvestite or cross-dresser- but a transgender woman.