LGBTQ Ex-Christians Struggling to Reverse Our Indoctrination

I won’t lie. The guilt and shame are paralyzing.

I was raised in a mildly Christian household. It wasn’t one of those that force fed me scriptures and demanded my attendance at Sunday Services, but more of a passive presence that played a role in my perspective of the world during my formative years. From 7 years-old I was attending a program at a local church called “Good News Club” where some bus-driving lady would show up in the projects and shuttle us to off to “kids church.” We had no idea what it truly represented, we only appreciated that it was a break from the monotony of the school-week and an opportunity to spend time doing something new.

Our teacher, who would greet us in the basement of an old red brick building transformed into Calvary Baptist Church, would read us sweet little Bible stories, give us quizzes and ask at the end of each session if anyone wanted to “Invite Jesus into their heart.”

I raised my hand and was escorted into a dark room with concrete walls. She sat me down on a bar stool that was too high for me to reach without climbing and she laid her hands on my shoulders and prayed, asking Jesus to forgive me for my sins and accept me into his kingdom. I was one of those quirky kids that preferred the company of adults, befriended teachers instead of other kids…