I Nearly Married A Man and then I Discovered His Secret Wife.

For years I have been an advocate for disclosure.

For the safety of the transgender people involved, being up front and honest about our status is imperative. This allows our prospective romantic partner to absorb this information and make an informed decision rather than feel deceived or misled about their intended lover’s body. So many transgender women who engage in sexual relationships with men without disclosing their status are often met with hostility, violence and even murdered.

I was never very promiscuous. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be, don’t be fooled. I desperately wanted to be swimming in sex, uninhibited and with abandon. I wanted to be liberated from the coils of my own insecurities.

I wanted to experience the human condition on a sexual level, with men, with women, with other trans people. I saw each person as a story waiting to be told, I wondered what shaped them, where they came from, what brought them here. Sex to me was as much between my ears as it was the legs because I had this intense thirst to learn about people.

Some might say my catholic guilt kept me on a tight leash. I had this overwhelming belief that if I stepped out of line or risked doing something I ought not to, I would pay dear consequences. I never did drugs because I…