Donald Trump Uploads Heavily Doctored Video of Nancy Pelosi to Mock Her

“I am an extremely stable genius,” Trump boasted after attacking the Speaker of the House of Representatives for the third time in a single day.

Once upon a time, back in UsualWorld, the Speaker and the President would traditionally meet to talk about some of our nations biggest obstacles and address the needs of the American people. The relationship between a President and the Speaker, historically, is usually pleasantly symbiotic. That’s not the case with this administration.

While it might have taken Trump three years to find enough loathing for his Democrat sparring partner to issue her one of his hurdy gurdy nickname insults, he finally anointed her with one: Crazy Nancy

“Crazy Nancy, she’s a mess!” Trump seethed, right after telling thirty reporters how calm and polite he was- a genius, after all.

It was all came untethered when Trump and Pelosi decided to meet at his office to discuss the matter of infrastructure. On her way to the meeting, she was stopped by reporters and asked that inescapable question: Impeachment?

As she zipped by on her way to have a sit down with the President in his office, she replied, “We do believe that it’s important to follow the facts,” the California Democrat said. “We believe that no one is above the law, including the president of the United States. And we believe that the president of the United States is engaged in a cover-up.”

REMINDER: She’s going to sit down with him in 2.3 minutes.

When she enters the room, the President has already been briefed on her statement to the press outside. Suddenly, the topic of infrastructure was the last thing on anyone’s mind. Trump allegedly yelled at the Speaker insisting that he was ceasing work with all democrats moving forward. It sounds like a huge, terrible threat, but factually speaking, Republicans have blocked every democratic bill delivered to the senate floor. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell nicknamed himself “The Grim Reaper” vowing to “Kill all Dem bills.” Suffice it to say, the Republicans haven’t been willing to get into the playground sandbox with the other kids for the good of the nation anyway.

Trump had, what Pelosi described as a tantrum. He threatened to hold the entire body of congress hostage unless she closed all investigations involving him being conducted by various government committees. Essentially, the President blackmailed Nancy Pelosi in broad daylight and with no Soprano’s style soundtrack playing in the background for mood.

Pelosi refused.

So, Trump stomped all the way to the Rose Garden for a hilarious 20 minute long impromptu chinwag with his favorite people. The media. He begins by condemning the Mueller investigation and, staying on brand for his base, spat out the words “Witch Hunt” three times! He kept pointing at a card propped up on his podium that displayed the amount of money Americans have spent on the Mueller investigation, as well as a few other, shall we say, “Alt-Factids” for the bible belt who take his word as gospel.

In a matter of seconds, every single news outlet, except Fox News, were able to pull out the receipts and catch The Don in yet another lie-laden speech where he just makes it up as he goes along. He reads from a few notes scrawled on paper so he remembers to stay on point. “The Democrats are evil! They want to take down your great president!” Nobody screamed… at least not in the Rose Garden, but I’m sure they did in North Carolina. I bet you could hear those woman-hating southern conservatives howling like dogs for miles.

A photographer caught a snap of Donald’s notes. As expected, it looked to be written in sharpie, and anything with more than two syllables was misspelled.

Just to make sure that all of his non-truths hit a home run with his fans, for the first time since being elected President, the official twitter account belonging to The White House, not Donald Trump who uses his personal twitter account, tweeted a macabre tweet, borrowing words from the language of Trumpism… “Witch Hunt!”

After whining in the Rose Garden, he clearly hoped things might take a better.turn on the White House front steps. He swung around the building, positioned himself in front of two white guys in cowboy hats as if he were at a Village People Reunion, and started it all over again.


He stands there, snorting gruffly through his nose like he’s trying to catch an idea, and then announces that due to the tariff war he’s locked us into with China, Farmers who are suffering tremendous losses of income will get a 16 billion dollar bailout as a courtesy. Trump goes on to lie again, claiming China will pay the tarrifs, not the American people.

Right, just like Mexico was going to build your vanity wall, Sir?

If you know anything about economics, you understand that the higher the cost of imports for things used in every industry, the higher the price will be at the end of the food chain. To compensate for the tariffs, China will just tack on 15%-25% more to cover their own costs. The buyer is paying that… the industries who sell to us… so they have to hike up the price even more to break even- and then again to profit. Say it with me now, “When they pay more, you pay more at the store.” Turn it into a song if you have to. At least it’s the truth.

Trump continued dragging his tongue through the mud as he lied about Pelosi’s insinuation that he had “engaged in a cover-up.”

Get ready for this, dear reader, hope you’re sitting down.

Trump said smugly, “I don’t do cover-up’s!” WHOA! that’s a whopper!

Maybe someone needs to remind him about the hush money payments made to Stormy Daniels that he first claimed to know nothing about only to later admit it was him (And his then-attorney, the now-incarcerated Michael Cohen.) That was a cover up.

The guy is a master of cover-ups. He didn’t write his own bestselling book, “The Art of The Deal.He faked bone spurs to dodge the draft so he wouldn’t have to enlist in military service. He even forged his own health records that he made public last year while exclaiming “I’m the healthiest President in History!” Yeah, only to have his own doctor crawl out of the woodwork to let us know that Trump authored his own medical records.

There’s still the secret hour long meeting with Putin that went on behind closed doors with none of his council or advisers allowed in- only an interpreter. He refuses to provide details of what was discussed but would only say, “Putin said he didn’t do any hacking and I believe him.” Indeed, despite mountains of evidence collected by 17 different intelligence agencies, including the Department of Justice ad the CIA, Putin was the only truth-teller. The rest are lying.

True to form, whatever bile oozes from his mouth, his followers snort and roll around in like a bunch of kittens in a catnip patch.

Because Trump just couldn’t go to bed on a high note, he enlisted the help of someone to edit a video of Pelosi’s conference- which had been broadcast live on every network- and slow it down considerably. He edited out her statements and made her appear to be confused and disoriented. Satisfied with smearing the 79 year old House Speaker, he uploaded it to his twitter, where his son Donald Jr. proceeded to share it, along with White House Staffers. To be fair, it was 3am, he probably ran like a huffalump down the White House Halls demanding they all get up and share his magnum opus immediately. Genius.

Anyone who watched the actual conference just 6 hours previously knows that it’s fake… once again, it aired live, and he is grossly misrepresenting it in order to not #BeBested by his rival for accusing him of engaging in a cover up. So, he made her look incompetent, sound incoherent and shake like she was about to shimmy into an early grave.

The saddest part about this remains rooted, not in the ridiculousness of the entire theater, but that the President of The United States has this engineered, and he uploaded it himself to his own twitter. It wasn’t just a trolling retweet. This was a targeted attack on a high ranking member of congress, and it was done out of spite. Because his feelings were hurt.

But for a moment, let’s pretend the video was not fact, and we millions who watched it yesterday afternoon saw this frail, wobbly old woman slurring her words and unable to communicate. I think most of America would have been alarmed. Is she having a stroke? Is this a diabetic episode? The Nancy Pelosi we know is as bright as the clothes she wears, she’s quick witted, a well versed, heavily experienced speaker. I’d think even the press might have summoned an ambulance for her if this actually happened.

But it did not.

Trump made another horrible misstep in trying to mock a woman based on her age. He made up disabilities for her to have, because Trump gets a kick out of making fun of disabled people, especially his critics. He’s done it before. He did this for his base, who will now, with their incredible hive mind superpower, absorb by osmosis these “Truths” no matter the evidence to the contrary. He is their shepherd. They are his flock. That’s not a relationship I want to examine further because it terrifying- like Jim Jones terrifying.

One must wonder now if the Man-Child President who constantly brags about his high IQ is smart enough to realize that he’s committed some serious ethics violations here. Attacking a member of congress using the power of your seat before an audience of millions by creating a false narrative implying she is mentally impaired is the lowest Trump has gone yet…

And I still don’t think he’s hit rock bottom.

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